Monday, October 18, 2010

Things have not been well lately.  First of all, I have not been online because my parents forgot to pay the internet bill, so we were shut off for a few days.  It was very boring for me, as you can imagine.  I am not a huge fan of television, and lately it's been too cold to go outside.

First of all, something very weird happened at school today.  When I opened my locker this morning there was a simple note, typed on a computer and printed out.  It said:
"Someone had fun in New Jersey."
My heart skipped a beat when I read it.  I started to feel lightheaded and thought I was going to pass out, you know the feeling, the one where you can't breathe and feel slightly nauseous and absolutely have to sit down or lie down if you can.   I hobbled to the bathroom as quickly as I could and sat down in the nearest stall on the toilet.  I then took a deep breath and read it again.  Yup, it's real.  Someone out there knows about me, and I have no idea who it could be.

At first, I was stricken with fear, but after a few minutes of sitting on the toilet and breathing, I started to realize that if this person wanted to turn me in they would have already.  That made me feel better, but not much.  There is someone who knows my secret, or at least knows I killed Lillian.  I wonder if they know I also killed Micheal?

I have to feed this weekend, but I really don't want to.  I don't know if this person is going to follow me and expose me on my next kill, or somehow mess around with me... But I have to.  I think I might steal from a bloodbank this weekend, but I'm not sure.

Anyway, as far as the "bitch you got raped" thing goes, that is going to have to wait, at least for now.  I am too panicked about this to deal with it.  I am too scared to even eat a dish of ice cream.  I have got to calm down.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

No one spoke a word today about Micheal's death in school.   I think he was overshadowed by the more sensational news of Lillian's.  Lillian was that type of girl who was not exactly the prettiest, but everyone liked.  She got okay grades, came from a decent family, and was super girly, even if it was in a homely way and not in a hot way.  So naturally, upon learning of her death, everyone was distraught.  They told us of her death in the morning announcements, but did not tell us exactly how she died.  They also said anyone wishing to seek counseling should go visit the school nurse.  I almost laughed out loud in my seat.  Some people might be sad, but theyll get over it.  She was no one special.

I guess others thought differently though.  There were students weeping in the hallway, mainly popular girls.  At lunch that's all anyone would talk about "Oh what happened to Lillain..?"  " texted me and said it happened last night..." you know, the usual chatter you overhear at school after any major event goes down.  It was so big that I barely heard two words spoken about the rape, which is unfortunate, because I think that is a much more interesting subject.  I still have not made my decision about her locker though.

I didn't see Alex anywhere today, even though I went the long way between my biology class and my nutrition class to see him.  I wanted to see his face, to see how he was.  I hope he isn't too distraught, it isn't like they've been dating a long time anyway.

Anyway, I am rather busy with homework tonight, so I must get going.  Later!

Tl;dr here's a picture of a giant weed nugget and a whole ton of weed bags in the background my friend sent me recently from his phone.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

My Journey to New Jersey

When I woke this afternoon I immediately went to go get a cup of coke (I hate coffee but need caffine) and saw this as the headline of the local newspaper: "Alleged Pedophile Found Dead in Home."  Underneath the headline was a big ole picture of his mugshot.  I turned to page 3, where the story was and read the following:  (I will only give you a snippet because the entire article was pretty long)

Micheal Henderson, 32, was found dead last night in his bedroom.  Neighbors reported a nasty smell coming from the house, and claimed they had not seen him for several days.  They noticed a pileup of newspapers, and decided to call police.  He was found lying on his back in his bed, with a knifewound in his neck.  His death has been ruled a suicide.
It went on to talk about his crime and all of that, but I am sure that you do not care to read it.  It was boring, and not as juicy as what I have already told you about him and that boy he was having relations with.  Anyway, what really bothered me about the whole thing was that they claimed  it was a suicide by slitting his throat.  No medical examiner or forensics specialist would agree this is the case.  They clearly do not care enough to go forward with an investigation, or were too perplexed by what they found and did not want to explain.  Or, maybe they are happy he got killed and do not feel like finding someone to punish.  I would like to think of it as the latter.  Either way, I am kind of relieved, because it means there will be no investigation and I should be okay.

I want to apologize for anyone I offended by saying bad things about New Jersey.  First of all, people from New York are always inclined to dislike people from New Jersey.  Second of all, the only times I went were to go to the Six Flags and the beach where all the guidos hang out, so I guess I unfairly judged it based on those experiences.  I am sure there are nice people in New Jersey, in fact the town I went to last night didn't seem too bad.  It was an old style town with some stone houses and the center of it had a narrow main street with a slew of cutsy shops.  I bet on a sunny day it's a great place to walk around and enjoy, however, that is not why I was there.

My drive to New Jersey went without a hitch, but this is usually the case for the drive too.  Even though my heart was pumping the entire time, I was still innocent of the crime I was about to commit.  It took me about two hours to get there.  Fortunately, there was a strip mall about a half a mile from the house, so I decided to park there.  It was rather run down and I doubt they had any cameras in it, and even if they did, who knows if anyone would think to look at their surveillance... I hope.  Anyway, when I got to her grandparent's house, I was sorely disappointed to find the light in the living room was on.  I surveyed the entire house, and discovered this was the only one.  I had come this far, and was not about to give up because one person was awake.  No way, I was too tired and hungry, and if I waited any more days I would probably get sick.

I peered in the window, and noticed it was only Lillian, alone in the living room, watching TV.  And she looked to be asleep anyway, her eyes were closed and she was lying on the couch as if it were a bed.  Great I thought, this should be easy.  I was fortunate enough to find that the front door was unlocked -figures- and this happened to lead right into the living room.  There would be no breaking in, no trapezing through other rooms looking for her and possibly alerting other family members.  I just walked through the front door.

I guess she must have been half awake, or in a wake-dream state because she mumbled something about it.  It was to the effect of "Lexxie, that psycho stalker bitch what do you want?" And I whispered shhhh as quietly as I could before covering her mouth and nose with the chloroform towel.  Then I sucked the blood out of her jugular as I always do.  I was disapointed at how shallow she was.  Usually when I kill, I get a whole fleet of emotions, ideas about the world and so on, but from her all I got was superficial feelings about petty high school drama and the tv show "The Hills" and "Grey's Anatomy." Like who the hell cares about that shit?  There was absolutely nothing real or interesting about her.  In fact, I fear I may need to feed sooner than usual because of it, as this is something that helps to satiate the hunger.  What an idiot.

Anyway, as soon as I had drained her, I left.  I quietly tiptoed out of the house and sped walked (running would be an eyesore for anyone who would happen to drive by) back to my car.  I felt good, I had eliminated an enemy and maybe was a step closer to being with Alex.  Most importantly, my hunger was subsided for at least a lil while.  One thing that bothered me, however, is what she said before she died.  She called be a "psycho stalker."  How does she know that I am in love with Alex?  If she knows, he must know too?  I do not want him to think I am crazy.. that will make him run.  Anyway, I made it back home safely, thank God, except for one mysterious thing:  I noticed the same red Nissan with a NY license plate in the town in New Jersey where I made my kill and back in my home town.  I find this a little worry some, but if they were going to do anything they would have by now, I think.

Anyway, I told you I would provide a picture of my cats.  Here's one, his name is Banana.  I'll show you the other two on my next update.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Tonight I must get ready for my journey to New Jersey.  I have been to New Jersey before, and have always found it to be a rather boring trashy place.  I mean, look at the Jersey Shore.  That is how these people live, seriously.  The place should just be destroyed.  Anyway, this may prove to be my trickiest kill yet because it is so far and I do not know the layout of the area very well.  My parents are asleep usually around midnight, and my mother wakes up around 6am... This is when she gets up to feed the cats, eat her breakfast, read the newspaper and then take her morning dump.  We have three cats, and I will take pictures and show you guys later if you so desire.  Anyway, my window of time is midnight-6am.  Since I have no school tomorrow, I get to sleep in so I am not worried about going to school afterward.  The problem is this place is a whole two hours away.  That's two hours there, and two hours back.  What if I crash, or I get pulled over in New Jersey and they want to know why  I am so far away.  In fact, in NY if you are under 18 you are not supposed to drive between the hours of 9pm and 4am anyway.  I don't know what they do if they catch you.  Also I am terrible with directions.  Even with my GPS on my iPhone, there is no guarantee I won't get lost.

I guess I just have to go and do it.  I know exactly where the house is.  Apparently it is in a rather isolated area of New Jersey (who knew New Jersey had isolated areas, I thought it was just a big cesspool of guidos, and we all know how guidos always have to be near other guidos.)  I will drive around the area a little bit first, going past the house and looking for a nearby place to park.  I know there willl be a lot of people in the house, so I must be extra quiet when I break in.  First, I will see if there are any unlocked doors (most people do this because they're dumb, especially out in the country.  If there are not, I willl see if I can slide a basement window up, and if I must I will resort to breaking one.  I am also going to bring cloroform with me, so that when it is time to kill she will be passed out.  I will put it over her face before I bite, so she doesn't scream out and get me noticed.  The body... well... I don't think I can carry it out, as much as I would like to and to ditch it somewhere.  I don't know what the family is going to think about her body, and what the medical examiner is going to say.  I am worried, but then again I always stress before a kill.

Anyway, one of my readers suggest that I put up a poster that says "Bitch you got raped" or something awful like that and tape it over Bailey's locker.  I feel that I should do this.  I don't have school till Wednesday, so it won't be until at least then, but I want to do this.  I will also, of course, post pictures of said event.  What do you guys think?  Vote.  (Poll is on the sidebar)

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I have made my decision.

Last night I had a bad dream. In my dream, I saw them having sex. Hot steamy mind blowing orgasmic sex. I don't want to go into detail because it gives me shudders to think about. Oh how I loathe her.

I have decided that Lillian will be my next victim. Right now, she is staying at her grandparents house in a small town near NYC. I am going to have to drive about two hours to pull this off. Because Lillian is an idiot and uses Facebook Places, I know the exact location of her grandparents. I have already mapped it out. My main concern, however, is the distance. It is going to take me about 2 hours to get to this place, not to mention the ridiculous amount of gas. I am hungry, and normally I would not choose to go this far, but I feel this will be to my own benefit. I am riding myself of an obstacle in my goal of obtaining this boy.

Sometimes I worry that I am too obsessed with him. I look at his facebook like 80 times a day. I think about him constantly, when I'm in class, eating dinner, taking a shower, and of course before I go to bed. Wat do?! I want to stop being a crazy obsessed stalker... and getting rid of Lillian won't help, not at all.

Anyhoo, this popular girl from my school, named Bailey, got "raped". There was a party last night, that of course I didn't get invited to, where they were all drinking, and supposedly someone put something in her drink and roofied her. Then 3 jock douchebag assholes who I can't stand anyway took her to the basement and had their way with her for like an hour and a half. This is the same girl who about a month ago in biology class said very loudly to the girl sitting next to her that I looked like a 'pug faced bitch' and would be a virgin forever. This is probably because I accidentally ran into her in gym class. We were playing dodgeball and I jumped to catch the ball and ended up falling right back into her. She gave me a dirty look and that was it at the time.

Anyway, when I learned of her rape, I lol'd so hard. Serves that bitch right. Is this wrong though? I am SO happy this happened, that is if it did happen. It might have been consensual, she was kind of a slut after all. Anyway, this tidbit made my day :)

Saturday, October 9, 2010

I hate going to school.  I hate it.  Every day I have to wake up at 6am, which is wayy to early.  Were it up to me, I would sleep until 1pm, and go to bed around 5am.  Its what makes the most sense.  However, they do not allow for that kind of schedule while you are in school.  It's fucked.  I also hate going there because everyone seems to fit in, but me.  I mean yeah, I have a couple of friends, but for the most part no one really talks to me.  I am not sure why, maybe it is because I was poor?  I used to have ugly raggidy clothing and no cable tv, no internet, and was yelled at by my parents a lot.  It created quite a rift, and I felt I had nothing in common with most of the other kids.  Stuff finally changed last year though, when my father FINALLY got a full time job.  That is why I have the junky car that I do, and I am thankful for it, because without it I would have to go to much more extreme measures to feed like I used to when I first became a vampire.  It was very nerve racking, having to sneak out on foot, hijack a car sometimes, other times call a cab.  This makes it so much easier to be seen and caught.  I am thankful that is not the case anymore.

I am weak because I have no had blood to feed on for almost a week.  It is not noticable yet, thank God, but it will be soon if I don't take care of my need.  I can't decide what to do.  Should I kill someone, and eat them like I did last week?  I might be able to get away with sneaking into a blood bank and taking some of the donated blood.  I do this sometimes in between kills, its not as satisfying as actually killing someone, but its more moral, and it means less of a punishment if I am caught.  I can't do that for more than a couple weeks in a row though, because I do get too weak if I don't kill.  I might do that this week, I dunno.  Another option is to go into a nursing home and take the life of someone who will die soon anyway.  I have done this on occasion, its just that its very difficult to sneak in, and then I have to roam the place looking for someone who appears to be dying.  One time, I went in the middle of the day to a nursing home about an hour from here, pretended i wanted to see my Grandpa (I made up an name and sadly they did not check).  I then went from room to room, making sure there were no nurses till I found someone.  It took me 45 minutes to find a good victim.  I was so fortunate no one caught me or said anything when I left.  I don't think anyone thought it was a murder though, as i did just walk out like normal and there was absolutely nothing in the paper..  Sometimes there is.  Only one reporter suggested there is a serial killer in the area though, surprisingly.  I would have thought they would have caught on by now, I am not the best at covering my tracks, even though I do a pretty good job.  Speaking of the paper, I haven't seen a word about the death of Mr. Pedophile.  I think they might have not discovered his body yet, as he was unemployed and lived alone.  It should be smelling something awful by now though, so I am surprised the neighbors haven't called.  It will happen eventually, I am sure.

I don't know, I can't concentrate on doing this, really.  All I can do is think about how upset I am that Alex has girlfriend who is not me.  WTF?!  I just want him to be here so he can lie in my bed with me and hold me.  Is that so bad?!

Okay, so I could, technically, eat that girl.  Our school is having fall break this week, meaning that we get Monday and Tuesday off.  This girl (her name is Lillian) is going to New Jersey with her family over the break.  I know this because I am currently stalking her facebook (yes, I am stalking her, like creepily stalking her, but she has no idea).  I am thinking I might drive there on Monday night (it's about two hours away, she stupidly posted the exact location she will be at) and doing the act.  This is, really, my only chance to do this because I am afraid people would get too suspicious if it happened close to home.  I mean, I just murdered someone else associated with the school.  But, I was thinking, if I do it in New Jersey, they will probably figure some creep there did it.

So what do you guys think?  Should I kill her, go to a nursing home, or do the blood bank thing this week?  I am starting to lean towards her, but I am undecided.  I will have to make up my mind soon though, because its good to plan things out in advance.

have a good day,

Thursday, October 7, 2010

I am sorry that I cannot beat this blog on Sunday night but I live in trouble my parents grounded me when they found out that I snuck out on Sunday night but I'll get back to that in a minute.

By the time Sunday night rolled around I was famished. I felt weak, I could barely breathe at times, so I knew that it is time to feed or else I don't know what would've happened. I have never tested it I have never found out what it is like when I do not eat. I suppose I eventually just fade away into a pale shriveled ball of nothingness. I do not like what I do, but the exhaustion overwhelms me and I must make a change. I must eat.

Still around midnight I set out. I snuck out of my house I crept down the stairs tip toeing like a cat in hopes that my parents would not see or hear me. We live read at the end of a long driveway and not many cars pass on Adjacent road. I had to be very quiet for any noise would startle them and arouse their suspicion. when leaving the driveway I didn't turn my headlights on so there was nothing to see.  the drive to Michael's house with probably the easiest part of the whole ordeal, this is where I was the least nervous. I had not done anything wrong yet and if a police officer stopped me all he could do was give me a small traffic violation ticket which I can easily pay or smile my way Out of. This took 15 minutes.

Like me Michael lives in a quiet neighborhood. I parked in the same is vacant lot I told you guys about earlier. I feared someone would see me driving into the lot. I knew my fear was a rational but I also knew that when police make investigations they take no chances, and examine all suspicious behavior. And well parking in the lot at this time was rather suspicious however I did manage to park in the dark shaded by some trees. Where I was parked no one could've seen my car. I ran through the woods and got Michael's house. This was the safest route. I was able to come right into the backyard and I snuck into the back porch he always keeps unlocked, I checked in my stalking visit.  Most people don't lock their porch doors. I slid the door open quietly he had no animals so there is no dog to bark me and alert the neighbors.  This is a good thing. I used my cell as a flashlight because the light it makes is very dim and would probably not  alert anyone. I creep in Jay's room and I slid my hand over his mouth. I did not say a word.  He did not wake up.

I wasted no time in biting his neck and clamped down on his jugular and sucked. He must of been sound asleep because he did not murmur not a word, not a sound, not an utterance. You would be surprised how many people do not wake up when you're biting them. I guess it must not hurt very much. I fed for a whole 5 min. at first his breathing was a long hard and regular but soon it slowed down a slow drawl, a rattling drawl, and his heartbeat became weaker it was the sound of death he was dying in my arms before my eyes and I was sucking the life out of him.  It was so wonderful I felt alive for first time in ages, or what seems to be ages anyway. I can breathe it was good news I wanted to rejoice and he was flailing, lying there all faltering dying but I did not care, did not care.  I need to take care of me.

And then the ecstasy of his death was over. I felt really worried I had to leave I had to leave now before I got caught so I ran back out the way I came. Back to my car back out of the lot, the vacant lot and drove all way home as fast as I could not speeding or breaking any laws. I didn't want to get pulled over that was the last thing he needed. I needed to slip back home quietly and announced unfortunately when I got home my parents were there and they were waiting for me. My mother's eyes were glaring at me and she was angry.  fortunately she did not suspect that I killed someone she is figured that I went to go visit my friend or some boy and she told me that i am grounded for the next week this is why have not been on the computer to update my information and tell you it's been going on. I am sorry and I will try to make sure that I update this more frequently.

The sad thing is I am hungry again and need to eat again soon or else I feel I will go insane. a I'm not sure my victim will be but I'm thinking maybe that girl?  I am afraid I might be too close to eat her, for I do not want to raise any red flags with the police or anyone else that i am doing this.  I have just eaten someone who has a connection to my school, i don't want to do it again and have them circle in on it.. that would be bad.

Oh, and that bimbo and Alex are officially dating now.  I hate my life.  I should be with him.  I SHOULD DAMNIT.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Okay, so I went to the movie and it seemed to be pretty good, but I could barely concentrate on it, so I really didn't pay enough attention to give it an accurate review.  I will say, however, the acting was really on par for the most part.  The body language (which is really important to me in movies, because it is very telling at how well done the movie is) was spot on.

The reason I wasn't able to pay attention to the movie is because Alex was there with ANOTHER GIRL.  What the hell?!?!?  I had absolutely no idea he was going there as a date.  The entire time, all I could do was sit there and shake.  She wasn't even as pretty as me, in fact shes repugnant looking.  She has a little pig nose and lots of pimples.  The only reason he likes her is because the populars accept her.  I bet he saw me there (I hope not but he probably did) and thought I was stalking him... I mean, I WAS stalking him.  He probably thinks I'm a creep now  I dont know if he knows how much I like him, but I suspect he does.  He always looks at me funny and seems to avoid me.

I don't know what to do.. should I eat her at some point?  Not yet obviously because I intend to consume Micheal on Sunday night.  In fact, I just got back from watching his place.  Looks like he turns his lights off at around 11.  He also lives on a quiet street, and I know for a fact no one shares the other half of his duplex.  He also doesn't have a dog (a big plus) and doesn't lock his porch screen door (I checked)  So what I think I'm gonna do is get there around midnight tomorrow.  I will park in a vacant lot which is in a development near his.  That place is also quiet, and most people are in bed by this time.  So my plan is to get there, quietly walk to his house from my car, sneak around the back and get in through the porch.  Then I will tiptoe to the bedroom and it will be a wrap from there.

This is what I hope anyway.  It rarely ever goes as planned, there are always small complications that I did not think of, or weird run ins.  Also the escape is usually the most tricky part.  I have to park my car as far from the scene as possible, but I also want to get there as quickly as I can so no police or other people will get to me first.  This way, I can make it home in the fastest time possible.  Wish me luck!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Bored and Hungry

I'm in my stupid computer class right now, and all I can think about is how hungry I am.  Yes, I still enjoy human food (cheese and ice cream being among my favorites) but I need blood.  One time, I bought a cup of ice cream before feeding, and still had it when I attacked.  I dripped their blood on my cone and it was delicious (ice cream was vanilla of course).  You should try.

Anyway, who the hell needs a computer class.  You know what we're learning right now?  TYPING!  Yes, HOW TO FRIGGIN TYPE.  I am a senior in high school, don't you think I know how already?  Oh my god.  Idiot teacher is trying to teach us how to type with two hands instead of finger peck.  It isn't 1990 anymore, everyone knows how to use a computer.  And this is AFTER we spent a week learning how to turn the computer on and log in, how to create a login, blah blah blah.  Their budget is too big if they feel the need to hire people to teach classes like this.  Goddamn.

Anyway, I am going to see The Social Network tonight.  It looks dumb, and personally I think facebook is even dumber.  The only reason I'm going is this guy Alex who i have been in love with for the past 4 years will be there.  Lana (my best friend) agreed to go.  I guess we'll just try to bump into them?  I dont want anyone to think I'm a stalker, but maybe I am?  I dunno, but I just cant stop thinking about him half the time.

Either way, I'll let you know how it goes later :)