I hate going to school. I hate it. Every day I have to wake up at 6am, which is wayy to early. Were it up to me, I would sleep until 1pm, and go to bed around 5am. Its what makes the most sense. However, they do not allow for that kind of schedule while you are in school. It's fucked. I also hate going there because everyone seems to fit in, but me. I mean yeah, I have a couple of friends, but for the most part no one really talks to me. I am not sure why, maybe it is because I was poor? I used to have ugly raggidy clothing and no cable tv, no internet, and was yelled at by my parents a lot. It created quite a rift, and I felt I had nothing in common with most of the other kids. Stuff finally changed last year though, when my father FINALLY got a full time job. That is why I have the junky car that I do, and I am thankful for it, because without it I would have to go to much more extreme measures to feed like I used to when I first became a vampire. It was very nerve racking, having to sneak out on foot, hijack a car sometimes, other times call a cab. This makes it so much easier to be seen and caught. I am thankful that is not the case anymore.
I am weak because I have no had blood to feed on for almost a week. It is not noticable yet, thank God, but it will be soon if I don't take care of my need. I can't decide what to do. Should I kill someone, and eat them like I did last week? I might be able to get away with sneaking into a blood bank and taking some of the donated blood. I do this sometimes in between kills, its not as satisfying as actually killing someone, but its more moral, and it means less of a punishment if I am caught. I can't do that for more than a couple weeks in a row though, because I do get too weak if I don't kill. I might do that this week, I dunno. Another option is to go into a nursing home and take the life of someone who will die soon anyway. I have done this on occasion, its just that its very difficult to sneak in, and then I have to roam the place looking for someone who appears to be dying. One time, I went in the middle of the day to a nursing home about an hour from here, pretended i wanted to see my Grandpa (I made up an name and sadly they did not check). I then went from room to room, making sure there were no nurses till I found someone. It took me 45 minutes to find a good victim. I was so fortunate no one caught me or said anything when I left. I don't think anyone thought it was a murder though, as i did just walk out like normal and there was absolutely nothing in the paper.. Sometimes there is. Only one reporter suggested there is a serial killer in the area though, surprisingly. I would have thought they would have caught on by now, I am not the best at covering my tracks, even though I do a pretty good job. Speaking of the paper, I haven't seen a word about the death of Mr. Pedophile. I think they might have not discovered his body yet, as he was unemployed and lived alone. It should be smelling something awful by now though, so I am surprised the neighbors haven't called. It will happen eventually, I am sure.
I don't know, I can't concentrate on doing this, really. All I can do is think about how upset I am that Alex has girlfriend who is not me. WTF?! I just want him to be here so he can lie in my bed with me and hold me. Is that so bad?!
Okay, so I could, technically, eat that girl. Our school is having fall break this week, meaning that we get Monday and Tuesday off. This girl (her name is Lillian) is going to New Jersey with her family over the break. I know this because I am currently stalking her facebook (yes, I am stalking her, like creepily stalking her, but she has no idea). I am thinking I might drive there on Monday night (it's about two hours away, she stupidly posted the exact location she will be at) and doing the act. This is, really, my only chance to do this because I am afraid people would get too suspicious if it happened close to home. I mean, I just murdered someone else associated with the school. But, I was thinking, if I do it in New Jersey, they will probably figure some creep there did it.
So what do you guys think? Should I kill her, go to a nursing home, or do the blood bank thing this week? I am starting to lean towards her, but I am undecided. I will have to make up my mind soon though, because its good to plan things out in advance.
have a good day,